Meet the Fighters: a series in partnership with Women Who Fight
A personal story from Laura, a Muay Thai athlete, competing at a regional and national level.
I first lost my period in Summer 2018, and didn’t regain it until April 2020. Luckily for me, I have not (that I know of) experienced any further negative effects of this such as reduced bone density or frequent stress fractures. Here is the context to my lost (and subsequently found!) period:
When I look back on what I was doing training wise in Summer 2018, I was training Muay Thai for up to 6.5 hours a week. I was also occasionally running in order to maintain a high level of cardiovascular fitness. In terms of my nutrition, I was consciously following a low carbohydrate high protein diet with no real insight into my calorie requirements, especially around training. I was tracking calorie intake and expenditure via a fitbit and maintaining a calorie deficit. Even writing this down now this attitude seems ridiculous, at the time I wasn’t training for a fight and I didn’t need to be in a calorie deficit! Why was I putting myself through this? Reflecting on this time in my life, I was hyper aware of the need to drop weight should I wish to compete and on some level I thought I would make my life easier during fight camp if I had less weight to lose. I had competed the year before at my walk around weight (for those who don’t weight cut to compete, your ‘walk around weight’ is basically your normal weight, your ‘fight weight’ or ‘competition weight’ is the lowest weight you can safely get down to in order to compete and have a size advantage on your opponent) and lost the bout due to my opponent having significantly more power than me due to her size and aggression, hence the focus on being able to compete at a much lower weight this time around.
In September 2018 I began a 6 week training camp, training 6 days per week, sometimes twice a day, in order to compete in November. I was dropping weight to compete and enlisted the help of a personal trainer to diet down to the required fight weight using a tailored nutrition plan. I explained to my PT that I had already lost my periods, he explained that this was normal and could happen when training at a high intensity and that we could address the issue once I had competed. I successfully got down to fight weight and competed.
Fast forward to February 2019, since competing in November 2018 I had only put on 2kg due to continuing to restrict food intake. I started another 6 week training camp for a bout in April 2019, this time agreeing to a fight at an even lower weight. I weighed in over 1kg under the agreed weight for the bout and had dieted down so much that I was sitting at 9% body fat. I was freezing cold, couldn’t concentrate at work, missed out on social events and made life at home for my partner miserable due to every single meal involving hideous amounts of lean meat and never being at home due to training!
In spite of all of the above, I very much enjoyed being thin, and having an athletic body. This – I think – is thanks to years of consuming media depicting thin women as good, and women who aren’t thin as objects of ridicule or as just plain bad. I was objectively fat phobic. My involvement in sport in adulthood only reinforced this through consistently seeing female bodies at the height of fitness and at very low body fat percentages.
I made my mind up in April 2019 t to take a break from competing, get my weight back up and ultimately get my period back. My PT put me on a meal plan with increased calories and food variety. Needless to say I just ignored this and binged for about 3 months straight, all the while grappling with a completely unchecked and unarticulated fear of food, weight gain and my changing body; which sat alongside a complete lack of control around food. After 3 months still with no period, I took a D.U.T.C.H hormone test via my PT which basically revealed that my brain was not producing enough of the right stuff to create the hormones needed to get me to ovulate. I took this test to my GP who’s first response was “how can I digest all of this in 5 minutes” and referred me to a gynaecologist. Following an internal scan which revealed nothing was wrong physically, the gynaecologist advised me to go on the pill which I refused to do, I pushed for a second opinion from an endocrinologist, who, following a number of blood tests told me nothing was wrong and referred me back to a gynaecologist! This final referral took place in January 2020, before I could get the appointment with a gynaecologist covid-19 hit and delays ensued. It was during the covid-19 lockdown that my period finally returned, one full year after I consciously started trying to get it back! I have had 3 in a row at the time of writing, which is a reassuring sign.
Something I wish someone somewhere along the way, out of my coaches, PT, the GP, both gynaecologists and the endocrinologist had said to me was “are you fueling yourself adequately for your training?” and “are you recovering enough?”. I made no effort to hide the amount I was exercising from any medical professional and was being weighed at every appointment, yet this huge aspect of my lifestyle just wasn’t even acknowledged. I wish there was more awareness of the female athlete and the female athlete triad within grassroots sports from a coaching perspective, and that female athlete health was more widely spoken about generally so that the athletes themselves can gain an awareness easily. I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t have been headstrong and pushed on anyway had I known about the risk of losing my period and all the associated health implications, but I do know that educating myself on these issues has been a huge part of reframing my attitude towards training and my body and ultimately in finding recovery.
The biggest support has undoubtedly been my partner who has been patient and caring when my behaviour was objectively ridiculous and impinged upon our lifestyle a huge amount. I have also found comfort and solidarity in other women like me sharing their stories online via instagram.
I don’t know how I’m going to take things moving forward to be honest. I am returning to training twice a week, with the sessions only half as long due to covid restrictions. I don’t weigh myself. I have tailored my social media feeds to show women of all sizes and shapes, I eat what I want to eat, without feeling out of control (most of the time). I have a friendlier relationship with my body and don’t care about the fact that I don’t have a six pack anymore. I don’t want to close the door on fighting in the future, but I do know now that I will always prioritise my health over my desire to compete.
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